M.E. is not a life sentence

On September 4th 2003 my life changed forever.

I came down with flu and didnt recover for 12 years. It was a 12 year journey that gave me the deepest blessing of my life. The ability to know how to heal myself from the inside out

My immune system had been struggling for 2 months prior, and i couldn't understand what was wrong with my body.

I felt exhausted, had strange pains and an upset stomach, with no obvious causes for any of it.

When i came down with a flu virus on that fateful day i expected to get better after a week or so. But this was not to be.

My body became really ill and never threw it off.

After 2 weeks of seriously full on symptoms (ranging from extreme fatigue, migraines, nausea, body pain, weakness, light sensitivity) that were worsening rather than improving, the doctors began to test me for other conditions....meningitis, brain tumours and so on.

It was a terrifying time and i was in a bad way.

All test results were showing negative and this made it even more worrying...what was wrong with me?

A week or so later, finally we found the answer. I was testing positive for Epstein Barr Virus, hypothyroid and adrenal burnout...in other words all the symptoms were coming from an extreme case of ME (otherwise known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Fibromyalgia)

I cannot tell you how frightening this diagnosis was for me as i also knew there was no cure, no successful treatment, and absolutely no idea of how many years i would be like this. I had seen this condition in others and often they were afflicted for life.

The symptoms i was experiencing raged on for many weeks and eventually i had to leave the States (where i was living when i got ill) and return to Scotland to live with my mother so i could be cared for....and so began 12 years of intense health struggles and searching for the root cause.

I felt inspired to write this post, partly to mark the 19th anniversary of this day that will be etched in my mind forever, and partly to offer hope to those still journeying with this condition, or who know others who are.

The hope i offer is that despite all the suffering i went through, and all the doom and gloom i was told by doctors of how the condition was incurable, i went on to find my way back to full and perfect health, and happiness beyond anything i thought possible.

Chronic fatigue syndrome/ME/fibromyalgia does not need to be a life sentence, and any one who tells you so is wrong.

I am here to teach, lead and inspire others that there is another path, another truth and another way.

The body is simply communicating deep emotional distress and it is coming in the form of illness.

Once we understand what the messages are and what is needed to resolve them, the illness has served it's purpose and it can release from our bodies.

There is a simplicity to healing once we understand the way our bodies/minds/spirits interact and express. A beautiful dance goes on between them, and it is a mystery which we are able to decode and understand once we understand the language they speak.

This language is my life work, it is through my own journey of healing that i have come to understand it. And it is this that i teach and share with others.

Healing is possible, your health can be restored, and the life you are destined to live can be realised.

Ebb and Flow of Life

Slowing down and doing less, breathing more… savouring all of life’s amazing moments.

These are surprisingly difficult things to achieve in our modern world, at least in any consistent kind of way.

I remember yearning to be retired when I was in my late teens, as I longed for the pace and way of life of those who no longer had to fly franticly around chasing money, career or survival. I was already deeply entrenched in a way of life that was on course for burn-out.

My early childhood was fraught with tension, work and money worries, and the non-stop pace of life was exhausting to my nervous system. Of course I unconsciously copied it and it was only when my body collapsed with M.E. in my mid twenties that I was offered the opportunity to rethink how I did life.

The blessing of this illness was a total re-boot of my values, needs, and ways of living, that has allowed me to create a life that allows me fantastic health and wellbeing.

I am now learning how to create a conscious business aligned with these same values, and I notice all the ways that capitalism still creeps into my life and my choices.

I find myself having to be incredibly conscious of following a rhythm around when i push forward and achieve, and when i pull back slow down and relax. Allowing some reflection and digestion of what I have been doing with my time is an essential part of keeping myself well. And it can be incredibly easy to fall into the non-stop “doing” mode of our culture, where “being” is so often overlooked or considered lazy or unproductive.

As we approach mercury retrograde tomorrow (an astrological phenomenon which lasts 3 weeks), it is a definite time for me to slow things down and consider where I am at and sort through what is and isn’t working for me in my life. To start to sort through my inbox, clear things out, and go back over the last few months of learning before I move forward again in 3 weeks time.

I try to do the same each month with my menstrual cycle, which calls for a letting go and dropping down into a quieter pace as bleed-time comes, and we have an opportunity to digest and reflect.

How do you find pacing your life? Do you consciously create times of rest and renewal? Is it easy for you to factor in slow moments each day?

As the world goes through a crisis around values and ways of living, can we each individually start to move at a different pace that honours our animal nature and it’s cyclical needs? Can we move at the pace of our bodies, and in harmony with nature around us?

So much deep and delicious wellbeing is waiting for us on the other side of the non-stop action that capitalism tends to support.

Imagine a modern world where we draw on the wisdom and knowledge of the indigenous and ancient cultures, and allow the deeply understood interconnection with all life to inform our choices. Where nature is revered and recognized as holding the keys to true and lasting abundance and joy.

With each choice that you and I make each day we can weave this new world into existence….lets choose for the world we wish to see.

The power is in each of our hands…

Moving at the pace of your body

The pace of change is so rapid these days that i find myself witnessing as if in a dream sometimes. And more and more i need to lean into the stillness of nature to find resources to deal with it all. As soon as i do i feel replenished, alive and happy.

I have been aware of many clients and friends/family feeling the stress of the news and other media sources. And i feel sad watching people's mental health being so deeply affected by what they are reading/watching/listening to.

Personally i limit my intake to very low levels and i consider it essential to be highly selective about what i ingest in terms of information.

We need to lean into the slower pace of life more than ever now. If you spend a lot of time online, consider giving yourself the gift of switching off the screen and reconnecting with life around you. Nature is a wonderful ally and comfort in these times..

My motto is "go at the pace of your body". Doing this keeps me grounded, peaceful and happy where i would otherwise lose myself into the spin of modern human life. And if i am not in a good place mentally and physically then i know i need to make changes to what i am doing in my life. Feeling good (or not) acts as a wonderful guide for us all.

Coming home to our bodies and nature is the greatest resource for inner peace we have right now. Lets choose where we put our energy and attention...and focus on things that strengthen our wellbeing and health rather than bringing us down.

Please feel welcome to join my Facebook group The Body Knows if you would like to be part of a community where we are moving towards a more body and nature-aware world: The Body Knows

Wishing you a day filled with ease and joy as you move at a pace that nourishes you.

ARE YOU GIVING AWAY YOUR POWER?

Where are you giving your power away in your life? Who do you believe has power over you and your choices, your experiences? Who do you feel afraid of?

I ask these questions because power is a theme that I have been playing with a lot over the last few months. I have been watching old childhood trauma patterns connected to power and control continuing to loop ever so subtly (and some not so subtly!) in my life. It has been fascinating to explore the changes I can make within myself and then see these reflected back in my day to day reality. As we change the stories that are running in our unconscious minds we change the way our external lives unfold.

As with all wounds, until they are healed within our psyches and bodies they will continue to be visible and active in our outer world experience. And so to truly make changes in our lives we must go the root of the problem, which is within our own consciousness.

The trauma that gets laid down early in our lives stays with us until we either release it or transform it through new experiences of reality. There are many ways to heal trauma. I personally love the approaches of Peter Levine and Gabor Mate. Tending to the subtle cues from the body, making changes at this level, rather than just talking about our issues, deeply resonates for me. This is how I recovered from a long journey with illness….by listening to the voice of the body rather than just that of the mind, and responding accordingly.

But we can also make change in our lives using the power of conscious intention and attention. Using the mind as the tool it is meant to be, rather than the tyrant it has often become. Partly this is about consciously choosing which thoughts we are focusing on, knowing that energy follows attention and creates more of whatever we are holding in our attention. Partly it is about remembering the power of words to create our reality, and using our words with great consciousness and precision to manifest that which we wish to bring in to this world. When we come together and do this as a group, we have immense power to change our external reality, and this is a really important thing to remember at this time!! We are literally weaving the story of our future with our words, so which future do we want to create?

When we look at what is happening in the world around us it can be easy to feel hopeless and despairing. Things seem out of control and frightening. Many are deeply suffering and without basic needs being met; whether for food, money, housing, or for touch, company and a sense of belonging. It can instill a sense of overwhelm as we wonder what we can do to change things. It can also activate rage and blame as we look to find the source of the problem.

It is in these moments that a multi pronged approach is so helpful. A fine balance between responding to what is happening in the external world and also dealing with the inner world is needed. Attempting to change the problem outside ourselves without tackling the root of our issues within will never bring resolution and is exhausting. Only doing the inner work on our consciousness and not engaging with the external reality can sometimes mean we become detached from our human/earthly experience and lose touch with the physical realm of our common humanity.

If we can see what is going on around us and work on the triggers it activates within us, whilst also helping to make changes in the world in a way that feels aligned for us, then in my thinking we have hit a good balance.

In my own life i like to use the mantra “no one and nothing has power over me” when I’m feeling overwhelmed or diminished in some way, and it definitely helps to move me out of victim consciousness and put me back into truth. The immediate shift in my body is palpable, and I feel the shift in my thinking and creativity also. I also move my body, and shake up the energy, as it wakes up the power in the body and puts me back in a frame of mind where i know i can do whatever i need to do.

Believing I am a victim of someone else’s choices is a story that is left over from my formative years and I am done with it now. I see how this belief has kept me small and actually limited my ability to take a stand in the world, or access creative solutions to problems. I have more healing to do around this, but the foundations of a new way of seeing life are most definitely in place.

The more we recognize ourselves as the source of our power and stop giving it away to others, the quicker we will shift our world into a more peaceful and empowering place for all. Feeling safe to speak up and stand up for what is important to us comes from knowing we cannot be controlled or dominated by anyone. It reminds me of the powerful story I once heard of a holocaust survivor who, despite the horrors he endured, never allowed what occurred to him on the outside affect his sense of freedom and autonomy within, even while it was happening. To be able to achieve such a thing in the most nightmarish of situations such as this is testament to what is possible.

We are far more powerful than we realise. We are using a tiny portion of our potential in our daily lives. It’s time to step it up. We ARE the ones we have been waiting for. We just need to open up to who we really are.

When we do, we become the change makers in the world we so urgently need right now.

www.bodywisdomcoaching.co.uk

Morning Routine

WHAT IS YOUR MORNING ROUTINE?☀️

Mine is about finding PLEASURE in my body, in whatever way it wants to emerge that day.

Sometimes I dance. Sometimes I stretch luxuriously in the warm sunshine feeling the soft grass beneath my feet, the sun deliciously warming my skin. Other times I sing, skip and walk in the woods feeling the cool air caressing my skin, delighting in the dappled light all around me. Its different every day because I follow what lights me up rather than what I think I "should" do. I allow the natural world around me to merge with my body, and feel the opening and joy that brings 💚

This morning I spoke with a dear friend in the USA who unexpectedly rang me, and our conversation filled my heart and soul with such inspiration and aliveness. Afterwards I meditated in the sun feeling every cell soften in the warmth, and feeling the sounds of the birds and the rustling leaves moving through me, like little ripples of bliss. Mmmmm...😊

Every moment of every day there is so much delicious possibility available to us if we remember to slow down, breathe and tune in to our bodies 🌀

We are wired for pleasure, and bliss is natural for us. We just haven't been taught that. As children we knew how to have fun and find joy in everything we did. We naturally moved towards what felt pleasurable. It's only when we were told by adults that our actions were naughty, or that we were somehow being bad that we learned to cut off from this innate impulse. To be good and behave properly meant that we would be loved and accepted. As a child we depend on our parents for everything and so it was a survival instinct to do whatever we had to do to be loved. Sadly, becoming good boys and girls may have kept us safe, but it also meant losing a huge part of our aliveness and spontaneity. And our pleasure.

Pleasure is natures way of telling us that we are going the right way for our wellbeing. The more pleasure we allow ourselves the healthier, happier and more relaxed we feel. Its a simple equation 💖

But how do we reclaim our right to pleasure when we have an internalised parental/societal voice in our head telling us it's bad to enjoy ourselves too much?

This is my personal daily practice. This is part of what I teach in my one to one sessions and groups. I am fully committed to reclaiming the full expression of my bliss and pleasure in this body, in this life. And I am fully committed to helping others do the same. When we can relearn how to live in relaxed, happy bodies we will have a relaxed, healthy world 🌎

How do you start your day? What lights you up?
What brings you joy and pleasure? I would love to hear from you! 😊

Bliss Is Our Natural State

Bliss is our natural state. Wellbeing is our default setting.

But when trauma is lodged in the body it can interfere with the natural rebalancing that our bodies organically do.

When the body can’t restore balance due to chronic stress or unresolved trauma it eventually becomes depleted and disease sets in. We live in a culture where stress is the norm and an understanding of how to alleviate trauma is virtually non-existent except in therapeutic circles. The sad outcome of this is that most people have lost touch with the natural state of bliss and pleasure that is available to them, and also the natural sense of joy and connection that arises from this.

During my recovery from ME and its associated anxiety I learned how to access wellbeing again. To be able to come back to it whenever I veered off into a negative emotional state or lost touch with the physical pleasure in my body. I learned that in every moment I could access a delicious feeling of aliveness and connection, and the more I allowed this, the more energy and health I had. I learned many tools to aid me in being naturally energized and full of zest by being true to myself and my inner knowing. Our bodies will rapidly return to wellbeing

when we know how.

I’ve been really well now for 5 years and I continue to fine tune this process of rebalancing. I’m currently learning to allow myself to relax more and more deeply throughout the day, even when I’m working. This has always been a challenge for me as early childhood programming meant I associated work and earning money with tension and stress. As I am learning to slow down and relax even while I’m working, I am finding that I can achieve more while doing less. An extraordinary contradiction for me. And the bonus is that it is freeing up even more energy and radiant health.

In this current climate of change, uncertainty and illness it is more important than ever to be able to create peace and calm in the bodymind. We are bombarded with frightening news reels, multiple theories of what is really going on, and fear for the health and wellbeing of loved ones, friends and the population at large. Being able to hold balance as we navigate these choppy waters is essential for our health and also our ability to help those around us.

There are myriad of ways to restore balance. I teach a method called Body Wisdom Coaching which is about learning to listen to the subtle cues from the body so we can hear what it needs to feel happy and well. When we listen to our bodies life flows much more effortlessly and joyously.

Article for the Devon M.E. Association Magazine

For those of you reading this article I imagine you are no stranger to the terrible suffering of those with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, ME or Fibromyalgia. Whether you suffer yourself or know someone else who does it is my wish that this article may bring a little hope and helpful information.

I went through 12 years of debilitating ME and 4 years ago I made a full recovery. Since then I have sought to help those who are still struggling.

Symptoms first began when I was 26. Up until then I had been a healthy person with a busy life working as a massage therapist and yoga/dance teacher.

After 3 months of unusual fatigue, I came down with a flu virus and never recovered.

I had extreme fatigue, terrible headaches, photophobia, sound sensitivity and digestive problems. I was diagnosed as having Epstein Barr Virus and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. My mother had suffered from ME for 8 years through my teenage years so I knew the possible long term nature of my condition. I was terrified.

And so began a gruelling journey of illness as I sought a cure through any means possible. I changed my diet, took herbs, had bodywork, acupuncture and took high doses of intravenous Vitamin C but none of these brought lasting relief. The years rolled by and I spent the majority of them bed bound and in a darkened room with little relief from the pain. My bodyweight dipped to dangerously low levels as I could not eat enough to sustain myself due to severe stomach cramps and indigestion. Anxiety and OCD became constant companions in my nightmare existence as symptoms raged on.

I tried endless alternative therapies, plus medical interventions when my health became severely compromised due to malnutrition and body wastage. I worked tirelessly to heal childhood traumas, negative family patterns and limiting beliefs. Doubtless I was gradually healing on an emotional/spiritual level but I could not create lasting change on the physical level.

In 2005 I had been fortunate to discover a medical doctor who had created a powerful system of healing for ME called Mickel Therapy. It had been the most significant of any therapy I had tried but had not succeeded in providing a full recovery before I crashed into symptoms again. It took another 8 years, and even more extreme health challenges before I came back to Mickel Therapy in a last ditch attempt to be well. In these years the system had been revised and improved and this time, with the help of my therapist Clare Caldwell I restored myself to full and lasting health within 8 months. It was a miracle for me as I reclaimed my former life and returned to normal activities.

bACK IN THE WORLD AGAIN!

This dependable health continues and I am now in the position of helping those who are still suffering. I trained in Mickel Therapy in 2016 and worked as a therapist for 2 years. I now offer a therapy called Body Wisdom Coaching which includes Mickel plus other tools I use to assist the process.

Body Wisdom Coaching works on the basis that our bodies communicate deep wisdom to us through emotion and sensation. When we are born we are tuned in to that deep wisdom and have an innate connection to our bodies. However as we grow up we are often taught by society and family to override our deep knowing as we learn to behave in acceptable ways that gain us approval and love. As we are told to “be quiet”, “not make a fuss”, “dont cry”, “dont be angry”, we gradually learn to suppress our deep feelings and needs and become mind dominated and rule bound. This suppression of our natural selves creates tension and distress in the body/mind which ultimately manifests as illness as the body seeks to communicate its messages in increasingly loud ways. If we listen to these symptoms of illness as a message from the body we can gradually make changes in our lives which allow the body to return to balance.

Through Mickel Therapy I learned that this suppression causes the hypothalmus gland to go into overdrive as the body switches into chronic fight or flight survival mode. I learned how to switch off this mode and return the body to balance so the symptoms could cease. This joining of the body and mind again is at the core of what enabled my healing.

There are many ways to heal from ME and all are valid but from my own personal journey I can 100% vouch for the effectiveness of this approach.

If you are interested to know more about this method of healing please get in touch. I offer a free 30 minute consultation on the phone. I look forward to speaking to you.

Contact fionamonty1@gmail.com or call 07920461400

Follow Your Joy

Following your joy is the simple recipe for health and well-being. We all know how much better we feel after a relaxing holiday or a fun night out with friends, eating a fabulous freshly prepared meal or spending an afternoon bathing in the sun.

Simple ways to experience pleasure and relaxation bring great rewards for our health and a sense of balance to our lives. To create a daily routine that is based on this premise is a life changing choice. The culture we live in, however, doesn't particularly support this philosophy as a way of life. We are taught to work hard and rest little. When we do have leisure time it is often in front of the TV or using alcohol/cigarettes to soothe the stresses away. We are often taught to put obligation and duty before a deep knowing of what is good for us. in the end we lose touch with our bodies and in doing this our health and happiness can suffer.

A life spent rushing from A to B trying to keep on top of the to-do list doesn't lead to ease in the body/mind. We are a nation of stressed out people with health problems rising along with the pace of life, addicted to our screens and often ignoring the subtle voice of our animal bodies. When i say follow your joy I am encouraging a reversal of this. I'm not suggesting abandoning our responsibilities and becoming lazy or unmotivated to get things done. What i am advocating is learning how to balance work and play, rest and "doing". And even when we are working we can learn how to do it in a way that is filled with ease and relaxation.

Following your joy means listening to the messages from your heart and body that naturally tell us how to live in this way. It means getting out of a head dominated existence and into one which honours our whole selves...body, mind, heart and spirit.

We are not machines that can keep running on empty. We are human beings who need time to replenish and recharge each day and throughout the day. Following your joy is about learning to live differently as an individual and as a population. Slowing down, relaxing more, consuming less and having more time to enjoy leisure and nature. As we become more balanced our ability to listen to our deeper selves naturally arises and as it does so we reach for different activities, foods, drinks, routines, entertainments. We automatically take more care of ourselves, and see an improvement in our relationships and how we treat our planet. It is all connected. How we treat our bodies is how we treat our earth and vice versa.

Following your joy also means becoming more honest about your feelings and needs and learning to articulate them so that relationships improve and thrive and greater intimacy becomes possible.

I am a huge advocate of this approach as a direct result of my own life journey. After being raised in a dysfunctional family where balance did not exist, i developed an inability to relax which exhausted my nervous system and later i became extremely unwell with ME as a result. Through an intense 12 year illness i came to learn that the roots of illness came from being out of touch with the deeper messages from the body.

As i learned to hear them and respond i healed rapidly, changing my way of life in the process. As i returned to a more authentic expression of myself my health grew along with my happiness.

I now help others to learn the same process of recovering their health and well-being. I call this Body-Wisdom Coaching. If you are interested in learning more about it please get in touch.